hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
