If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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