We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
