I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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