Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
