what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
