we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
