i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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