and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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