Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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