Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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