i don't like sucking hair
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
