Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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