suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
