Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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