It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
