She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
