My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
