i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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