Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize