i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
