I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
