It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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