Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
