you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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