Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You ruined the universe
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize