I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
