I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
