i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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