That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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