We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The air taste purple.
Randomize
