High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
