you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
