Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
