He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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