Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize