I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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