i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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