I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
