She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
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You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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