bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
