I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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