i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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