I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
