Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize