we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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