still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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