Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
