I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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