I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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