I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize