We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So vagazzling was a success
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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