They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
