So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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