whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
