Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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