"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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