my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize