That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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