God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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