she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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