The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
