It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
