I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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