ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
