I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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