wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
