I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
50% drunk capacity currently
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
