This is not my ceiling
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
