i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
